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How to approach divorce without losing your mind

Regardless of whether you see divorce as a Godsend or are ambivalent about whether you should split up, approaching the divorce process with the right mindset is critically important. Why is this, you may ask? Because countless couples begin the process in emotionally defensive positions, vowing to litigate everything and ceding no ground, only to be disappointed with the results they end up with.

With that, this post will provide some tips to help you put things in perspective as you prepare for divorce.

Family court judges don’t care about you – While it may seem harsh, family court judges are focused on keeping cases moving, and applying the law fairly and accurately. While they are people with real feelings, they are not necessarily concerned with how you feel. So if you think you are in a situation that is truly unfair, but the law is being applied properly, your feelings may not hold any weight.

Divorce is a business transaction – Aside from the emotional angst, divorce is a process that allows for the orderly division of assets, and a method of assigning support (if necessary) so that a spouse without financial means can maintain a reasonable standard of living as they start out on their own.

Kids are not chattel – Even though there is a financial component to custody (as parenting time can affect child support obligations) children are not to be seen or used as pawns to coerce a spouse into yielding to a particular position. It is important to look at your role as a co-parent, where you will have to work with and interact with the other person as your child grows up.

If you have additional questions about the proper mindset for divorce, a family law attorney can help. 


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