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Divorce tips for older divorcees

The number of people divorcing after age 50 is increasing. Whether it is because of financial independence, couples growing apart or because children have left the nest, more people are finding that their marriages will not last. "Gray" divorces have unique legal and emotional issues. As such, they may not be resolved as quickly (or as easily) as other dissolutions.

We offer these tips to make these divorces easier.

Don't rush - The divorcing process, especially for long-term marriages, will not be completed overnight. Even before demolishing an old building (which occurs in seconds), there are many weeks of preparation before the explosives are detonated. A divorce works the same way, so an expectation to rush through the process may be misplaced.

Precious resources deserve care - Indeed, a gray divorce may not be completed quickly, but older couples tend to appreciate that life is too short to squabble over insignificant issues. Also, it is not worth the time and resources to spend their retirement savings on a lengthy court battle.

Don't be afraid to reinvent yourself - Divorce changes people's plans about retirement. Essentially, they may not have the financial resources to do so. If this happens, don't be afraid to change your expectations about how you want to resume your life. After all, a divorce could be an opportunity to reinvent yourself.

Life goes on - There will be future graduations, weddings, and other family gatherings, and there is no reason why the divorce should prevent you from enjoying these events, even if your future ex is attending these gatherings.

Source:, How to make gray divorce less stressful, March 15, 2013

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