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Why collaborative divorce works

With the number of divorces traditionally initiated in January, the concept of collaborative divorce is not such a popular topic. Divorcing couples typically engage in a dance of veiled threats and subversive moves in an attempt to gain a tactical advantage in the proceedings. Not only is this an unproductive use of resources, it calls for a tremendous amount of emotional energy.

In collaborative divorces, couples avoid the posturing that plagues most divorces and work together on finding solutions. This helps in creating agreements to resolve the legal issues, as well as the emotional ones. Essentially, it comes down to divorcing parties acting like adults and putting their issues aside. Collaborative divorce is about using joint resources to answer legal questions so that both parties are abreast of their rights and options, and to preserve important co-parenting relationships.

As such, the collaborative process is different from the traditional adversarial process in that former is more like a business transaction. The parties are looking to professionals for their opinions so that they can "get a deal done." The latter is a contest where one party is proven right where the other is wrong. The consequences of being on the losing side can be devastating, so parties are more apt to fight about things that may seem important, but are really insignificant in light of what they expend to get them.

Ultimately, the collaborative process produces an agreement that has the parties' imprint. They are more likely to follow such an agreement, and the likelihood of post-decree battles can be reduced.

Source:, Why Use Collaborative Divorce

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